Lisa French اشعار

Lisa French, born 1994

Suicide, suicide. Your presence is near
Suicide, suicide. I wish you were here
Suicide, suicide. Take me away
Suicide, suicide. Please make it today
Suicide, suicide. An answer, for me
Suicide, suicide. I need to escape, be free
Suicide, suicide. I’ve had too much
Suicide, suicide. Take me, do your touch
Suicide, suicide. Leave the rest behind
Suicide, suicide. You’re all over my mind
Suicide, suicide. Let me pass in peace
Suicide, suicide. I need to release
I sit here by myself, thinking of suicide
I look at a knife, wanting to commit suicide
I look at a photo, hating my life
Telling myself, suicide stops the pain
I turn the lights off, alone in dark
Reaching for the knife, that’s going to take it away
I think of certain people, they don’t care
For the first time, I think of myself
I dig the knife, into part of my skin
Letting all of my blood, pour out
I’m not dying quick enough, so another cut I make
Then a final cut on my neck, and a stab in my heart
What a beautiful suicide. The night skies so dark
The stars shine brightly. Tonight I’ll make a mark
What a beautiful suicide. With a knife next to me
Alone in a room . How good will this be
What a beautiful suicide. I’d already planned
Alone in silence . Nothing could be more grand
What a beautiful suicide. I’ll have to no longer life a life
No hurt or pain. All it takes is a knife
What a beautiful suicide. I don’t think I could die
Come to think of it. It’ll make others cry
What a beautiful suicide. I’ll no longer commit
I’ll just mend what’s wrong. That was stupid I admit
Dear Mother and Father. As you read this I want you to know
None of this is your fault. As I love you both so
I want you to know why I did this. Even though the truth may hurt
For the past few years I’ve felt so down. Further than under the dirt
Your child of great success’s . But no one could ever see
The tears behind the smile I showed. The person who was actually me
By myself, feeling all alone. Made me worse and down
Please don’t blame yourself for the decision I made
Because you never saw your child frown
I love you and I’ll miss you a lot. Same with everyone too
In your heart I’ll always be. And in heaven waiting for you
As I sit here and write my last goodbye. Everyone rushes through my head
Things will be better off, I promise. Now that I am dead
The night I tried to kill myself. Was like a scary dream
A knife held to my neck. No one heard me scream
The cuts over my body. As I tried to bleed to death
It didn’t seem to work. As I took a deep breathe
There is no point living life. If it’s going to hurt with pain
Death seems more peaceful. Life is like a stain
One little cut on my neck. That’s all it was going to take
I told myself I could do it . For all goodness sake
A knock on my door. Reminded me someone must care
I broke out in tears. I felt so scared
Death can seem peaceful. It can seem truly right
But for now I chose to live. As I hang on really tight
A reason to smile. Is that it looks better than a frown
It makes you feel happy.With no sense of feeling down
A reason to smile. Is that your smiles so bright
You could replace our sun. Your smiles full of light
A reason to smile. Is you’ll always look your best
Even though you always do. You’ll feel more blessed
A reason to smile. Is others look up to you
They want to be the same. Someone who is true
A reason to smile. Is that it shows who you are
So go on and smile. And shine like a star
My heart is bleeding, my eyes are crying
Inside, I almost feel like I’m dying
There are scars that just won’t fade
But the tears that I cry can wash away
But I lock away the pain, put away the fears
Show you only smiles, not the hidden tears
So what if I have a cut or two
Nobody notices especially you
You wouldn’t notice anything was wrong by the way I act
That’s how I wanted it to be, to all stay in tact
My secrets not spilled, you know how I feel
But now you know, it’s going to be harder to heal
I didn’t want to admit it, but it was easier to lie
Hiding the hurt and emptiness, to smile instead of cry
It’s more harder now, knowing someone else knows
It would have been better, if I kept my secrets closed
You never would expect anything like this from me
It can get anyone can’t you see
Not all scars show, not all wounds heal
Sometimes you can’t always see the pain someone feels
Who is a true me, do I really know
Is it the person I am, or the person I show
Is it someone I want to be, or someone I’m not
I’m not too sure, have I forgot
Who is the real me, is it the person inside
Or something else controlling me, full with pride
Am I the one who is always there
Or maybe the one who always cares
Am I the one who is happy and glad
Or may be the one who can seem quiet and sad
I’m not really sure, but they can all sound like me
May be I’m a bit of all that’s the me I see
I’m covered in scars. That were once cuts
There are new and old ones . Some as deep as my gut
They take away pain. For a short amount of time
Even though they hurt. It feels no crime
There’s one for her. There’s one for him
The one up my arm. Is one for …
There’s another for me. Also one from you
What about another one. Actually make that two
Watch me bleed. Hear me lie
Don’t pretend to care. I want to die

Love doesn’t hurt. Lying, Cheating and Screwing with people’s feeling and emotions hurts…